Luck of the Devil Page 6

  Frowning, I brought my fingers to my own mouth. They came away with blueberry.

  Damn it.

  “Faith!” My mother yelled from the other side of the airport lobby, distracting me from my mortification. “What are you doing here? It was supposed to be a surprise. Hope told you, didn’t she?”

  “Tolliver might have mentioned it.” I took another long drink of coffee and counted to ten.

  She settled into the seat across from me, fidgeting with her oversized pink bag. Between the heavy green eye shadow and the brassy blonde curls, she looked like a chubby, overgrown child who’d decided to play dress-up in her grandmother’s things. Unfortunately, she was at about that mental level as well. It had been almost a year since we’d seen each other, and I could’ve gone twice as long. The fates—and my sister—had conspired against me.

  “Tolliver?” She narrowed her blue eyes and huffed. “I should have expected it of him. He’s never really happy when your father and I are together, after all. I think he’s got some sort of unresolved issues when it comes to your dad and his mother.”

  “Mom?”

  She licked at the bubblegum pink lip gloss on her teeth. “Yeah?”

  “Jealousy is not a becoming quality on you, especially when you’re complaining about your stepson.”

  “I’m not jealous. Tolliver is a bit of an odd young man, and his fascination with getting your father and his mother back together isn’t healthy.” Mom snagged my blueberry muffin and eyed the uneaten side. “You weren’t planning on finishing this, were you? I didn’t get anything to eat this morning and all they had was overly processed granola bars on the plane.”

  “Take it.” No, I wasn’t hungry. My roommate didn’t eat my Danish, and my pain de chocolates weren’t sitting—uneaten—in my fridge. Go ahead, Mom. Enjoy. I slumped in my chair and waved my hand at her. “But lay off Tolliver, will you? Please?”

  “I just don’t understand what your father would ever see in a succubus like Lilith. And don’t think I don’t know how she is, constantly grasping for reasons to be in his presence, nagging at him—”

  “Not accepting he dumped her for a younger, mortal mistress?”

  “Faith!”

  “Wait, wait, don’t tell me.” I rose, leaving behind my empty coffee cup and grabbing her suitcase. “It’s complicated?”

  “It is,” she said, following me out of the cafe and toward the baggage claim area. “And I don’t have any luggage. I managed to pack it all in a carry-on. But it was a bit questionable for a while. Do you know it’s against airport security regulations to bring a ceremonial dagger onto the plane to ward it against Hotakai Air Spirits?”

  “You don’t say.”

  “You’d think they’d be more concerned about the spirits, what with the way those things like to cause airplane crashes.”

  “Right.” I changed direction and headed toward the parking garage instead of baggage claim, ignoring the fact that she’d let TSA feel the full complement of her crazy. I tried to put some distance between us so people wouldn’t realize we were together. Maybe I should’ve worn a chauffeur’s uniform. Then I’d have had an excuse to be with her that didn’t make me look like a total nutjob.

  She followed me, still trying to explain how complicated her life with my father was, how I just didn’t understand, and how she had spent the ride terrified by the air spirits she knew were trying to end her life. I was going to have to call that doctor of hers in Provo and ask about the last time she’d had her meds refilled.

  Once her bags were in my trunk and she was settled in the passenger seat, she said, “So, I’m not here to spend all my time talking about your father. Tell me about you.”

  “What do you want to know?” With a quick glance in my rearview mirror, I shifted my Honda into reverse. I knew what she was going to ask, but I’d be damned if I actually told her anything voluntarily. At thirteen, I’d decided that if my mother wanted information from me, she’d have to extract it using techniques banned in most Third World nations.

  “Are you dating anyone?”

  “Nope.”

  “What do you mean, ‘nope’?”

  “Exactly what it sounds like, Mom. I’m not dating anyone.”

  “Well, is there anyone you’re interested in dating? Maybe someone at work? There must be all sorts of eligible young doctors working at the hospital. Or not so young. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with an older man. They have a few more miles, sure, but they’re a lot more settled and they’re more likely to look over those minor imperfections a gal is plagued with once she’s out of her twenties. And you’re a pediatric nurse. Nothing makes a man think about settling down more than seeing a woman who’s good with kids.”

  I shifted into drive and stomped on the gas pedal, squealing the tires. “There’s nobody, Mom. And I’ve tended to find men who are more likely to get terrified than eager when kids come up.”

  “Speaking of work, I should call Raspberry Starshine. Maybe she’ll have an infusion that can help you land the young man at work you’re interested in? Make him realize talking about kids and commitment isn’t such a bad thing?”

  “Mom. Again. I’m not interested in anyone—at work or otherwise—and I definitely wouldn’t need any sort of infusion if I were.”

  “But she makes such good ones. She’s by far the most skilled herbal witch we have working at the society’s promotional shop. I mean, people just flock to us for her philters and healing potions. The society is getting quite a large clientele now because of her.”

  “That’s great.” I pulled up to the pay station and quickly swiped my bankcard. “How many paying clients do you have now? Three? Four?”

  “Very funny, young lady. You’ve never taken my work with the society seriously. Did you know this is the first year someone hasn’t gone to the city council and requested they refuse to renew our church permits, or asked the state to investigate our not-for-profit status?”

  “That’s wonderful.” Damn it. I knew something had slipped my mind last Christmas. How could I have forgotten to lodge my annual protest with the Provo City Council? That’s what I get for putting off my holiday shopping. Everything else just slipped my mind while I tried to fight my way through the Christmas mall sales. Damn mortal holidays.

  “I mean, I’d like to think most of it is because of the public relations battle I’ve been waging to change the public’s perception of us, and also the letter-writing campaign to the various state and local authorities. But it seems the people of Provo are finally willing to exist in peace with us and accept the positive flow of energy we’re sending them during our daily chanting sessions.”

  “Great!” I merged into the far lane and pressed the accelerator. There was nothing worse than being trapped alone with my mother, for any length of time. I’d even pay a speeding ticket at this point.

  “I mean, during my last intervention with our city alderman, his aura was much lighter than in previous meetings outside his house.”

  “You’re ambushing your local alderman outside his house?” Yep, she was definitely off the meds. And if that quack of hers was ‘weaning her off them’ I was going to tear him into little pieces and hand-feed him to the imps. I pushed the accelerator harder. How fast could this car go again? One-ten? One-twenty? Time to find out.

  “You make it sound as bad as he did when he filed that restraining order.” She slid one of her over-processed blonde ringlets out of her eyes and flipped down my passenger-side visor mirror to inspect her makeup. “I mean, for the longest time, his aura was positively black around me.”

  “And now that you’re violating the restraining order and showing up at his house?” I slowed behind an eighteen-wheeler and scanned my memory for alternate routes home.

  “Well I don’t go right up to him, silly. I have a tape mark exactly one hundred and five yards from his property line and I stand outside of it and chant for him each morning to open his heart to our healing mission. Soon, I think he
’ll be open to an awakening.”

  “Or he’s just resigned himself to having a cuckoo in the neighborhood.”

  “You know, dear, for one so young, your chi is extremely stifled. No wonder your aura is always so murky and you can’t find a nice man to settle down with.”

  Instead of answering, I flipped on the radio and turned it up.

  With a huff, my mother crossed her arms and stared out the window, sulking. “I can see when my motherly advice isn’t wanted.”

  “Your motherly advice isn’t wanted.”

  “Well, thankfully, your sister seems to care about my advice. I mean, look at how happy she is with Boris now that I’ve had a heart-to-heart with her.”

  I tightened my grip on the steering wheel and my knuckles went white. “Was that before or after he double-crossed her and caused them to end up at my apartment homeless and broke?”

  She picked at her hot pink fingernail polish. “I think this is the first time I’ve visited since you moved to Pittsburgh. What interesting things are there to do here? Is there a local neo-pagan group I can meet, maybe find a place to commune with the harmony of the local spirits?”

  “I wouldn’t know, Mom, I don’t normally try to commune with the local spirits. And when I do go around people who are big into spirituality, I either freak them out, destroy their religious convictions, or they try to come up with some way to use me in a bid for immortal power.”

  “Well, dear, if you were more open to a spiritual cleansing that might not happen so frequently,” she said, and patted my knee.

  I jerked my knee from under her hand. “Speaking of communing and harmony and all that good jazz, I was thinking, since you’ve already told Hope she can have an apartment in my building rent-free—”

  “That isn’t an issue, is it? I mean, you have an available apartment and she is your sister, not to mention she’s hit a rough patch and needs the support of her family.”

  “Like I said, since Hope is already moving in, I thought it would be great if you were there to provide her with all the maternal love and support she’s going to need by staying on her couch instead of mine.” Score one for Baby Sister.

  “Her couch?”

  “Well, yeah. There’s only a double bed up there, but I still think she and Boris would be more comfortable sleeping on it than on the couch. Meanwhile, it’s perfectly sized for you.”

  “But normally when I come to visit I sleep on your bed and you sleep on the couch so I can be more comfortable. You know I have a very sensitive back.” My mother’s eyes widened and she twisted a curl around her finger, trying to appear childlike and innocent.

  That wasn’t going to work on me, though. I was tough. I was powerful. I was going to get a chance to enjoy my vacation full of reality television reruns. “Yes, but with Hope suffering like she is, it really would be better if you stayed with her. To provide her with that motherly guidance you were talking about.”

  “But, but, but... ”

  “But?”

  “There’s no way your father will be comfortable on Hope’s couch. Especially as angry as he’s going to be when he finds out about Boris.”

  I pulled off the highway on two wheels and the car tilted sideways, screeching onto the exit ramp. “Dad’s coming?”

  “Well, of course he is. He’d have flown with me this morning, but there was a bit of a mix-up and he had to sort it out personally. He said it had something to do with a soul showing up unannounced, without paperwork. They thought they had it handled and all of a sudden, the soul disappeared again. He said something about it being banished into Purgatory. Everyone whines about having to go into Purgatory to get someone out of the waiting room, so your father decided to handle it himself. Besides, I’ve always thought he wasn’t all that comfortable with flying. Very protective of their space, those Hotakai Air Spirits.”

  “Of course they are, Mom.” I turned onto my street and spotted a black Lamborghini parked in front of my building. Leave it to Dad to be inconspicuous.

  “Oh, good!” My mother bounced happily in her seat when we pulled up behind the sports car and parked. “Your father made it.”

  Chapter Six

  “Overcompensating much?” I leaned against the side of my practical little Civic and crossed my arms, watching Satan try to peel himself out of the tiny car. His preferred human form was well over six feet, and he was built like some Hollywood starlet’s bodyguard. Yeah, where my brother went for the tortured artist look, Dad decided to work the tall, dark, and muscular angle.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He opened his arms wide for a hug, his green eyes glittering mischievously. They were the only physical characteristic we shared, but where mine were a flat, mossy color, his glittered a brilliant shade of clover.

  “You need a can opener to get out of that thing.”

  “It’s a very cool car,” he said, wrapping his arms around me and squeezing. Even if I wasn’t going to hug him, God damn it, the Devil was going to hug me. “It keeps the persona going.”

  “It’s a cool car if you’re younger than thirty-five. Once you hit that mark, a Lamborghini says, ‘I have a tiny dick and no self-esteem.’ Not exactly the image I think you want to project, given your reputation.”

  If he was man enough to tell me green made me look jaundiced and I didn’t have the butt to pull off skinny jeans, I was woman enough to tell him his overly flashy car made him look like a twerp.

  “You think?” He pulled back and stared at me. “Do I really look like one of those old, pathetic bastards trying to pick up women who are way too young for me?”

  “I think it’s a very sexy car. Very sleek and powerful,” my mother said, circling her arms around his waist and pressing her head against his ribs. She was only an inch taller than I was, and he towered over both of us.

  “Thank you, sweetheart.” He smiled at my mother and kissed me on the crown of my head. “So, Faith, honestly, what do you think? The car? Would you give me your soul to take a ride in it?”

  “I’d be too busy laughing at you to give you my soul.” I squirmed to get out of his embrace. “I know you missed me, but come on, I can’t feel my arms.”

  I don’t know what it was about hugging, but he had never learned the unspoken timing of the action. Or how to properly apply pressure. Most girls found hugs from their fathers comforting. My father, meanwhile, treated it more like a sleeper hold, something he did until you lost consciousness or capitulated to his demands.

  “Oh, sorry.” He let go of me quickly and my mom tittered. “I forget my own strength.”

  “You are so very strong,” she said, twirling a blonde corkscrew around her finger. I tried not to gag when she stroked his arm.

  “Anyway, are you here to pick up Mom and take her to your hotel?” Maybe I’d get lucky and he’d already decided it would be better for them to stay somewhere else. Especially if their version of PDA was out in full force.

  “Hotel?” he said. I watched my brief fantasy go up in smoke. “Why would we be staying at a hotel? What about my usual apartment?”

  “Well, I would have made sure it was empty if I’d have known you were coming.” I scratched the back of my head in annoyance. That was the problem with immortal beings that spent most of their time in another realm; they never got the idea of discrete space. Because no matter how much you maneuver them, you can’t shove fifteen demons into a Volkswagen Beetle. The maximum number is ten, and that’s a tight fit. I know. I’ve tried. Twice.

  “But your mother said you invited us a month ago and you’re dying to see me.”

  “Surprise! I just knew the two of you would be so happy to see each other. But as busy as you are, darling, and the way Faith always tries not to intrude… ” Mom’s pasted-on smile froze, probably at the moment she realized she’d dug herself a hole she couldn’t sweet-talk her way out of.

  I glared at her, letting out a harsh breath. This was why I never let her come to visit. Dad was fine on his ow
n, but she was unbearable at the best of times. When she was around Dad, it was an exercise in mental torture. “And Hope has taken up residence, rent-free, in the apartment you normally stay in.”

  “But that’s my apartment. Why would you rent it to someone else? Wait a second. Did you say Hope is staying in it? Why’s your sister here and not Idaho?”

  “Oh, it’s not really important,” my mother said.

  I smiled. Someone was in for it. And for once, it wasn’t me. Maybe this vacation could be salvaged after all.

  “Roisin, why isn’t our oldest daughter in Idaho, running a cult of idiots into the ground and stealing their money?”

  “Well… ” She shoved her hands in her jeans pockets and looked at me.

  Like I’d help her? I dropped my head backward and let it rest on the roof of my car before banging it softly a few times. Why was it no one ever thought about how they were going to handle these little situations before they happened? Why did they always, always, wait until things blew up in their faces? Oh, that’s right, because Faith would take one for the team and face Dad so they wouldn’t have to.

  “She was ousted,” I said. I lifted my head, popped open the trunk, and grabbed my mother’s suitcase. “And she’s inside with everyone else, so there’s no reason for us to stand out here and discuss it when you could get your information straight from the source, inside and away from prying eyes.”

  “Yes,” Mom agreed with an anxious nod. “Really, I’m sure once you talk to her, you’ll see none of this is her fault and you’ll know how to help her fix it.”

  “Don’t make it sound good or anything,” I said.

  My father took her bag from me before slinging his other arm around my shoulders.

  “You had no idea she had any of this planned, did you?” he whispered.

  “Not a clue.” I leaned my head against his side and relaxed. Say what you will about the Devil, but when he doesn’t have you in the Hug of Death, he’s a pretty comfy guy to use as a pillow. He looks big and beefy, but get close enough to touch him and he’s not all that tough. He’s more like goose down.